Daily Diatribes

I logged onto Birmingham Blues today (hey Kathy!!) and saw it was “Write to Marry” day. I am supposed to write a post in support of gay marriage. Not having anything else to blog about today, I decided to join.

Marriage is a sacred institution. Many people get married every day. An equal number seem to get divorced every day. I have been married to the same person for 17 years. It’s gotten kind of boring but I am too fat and lazy to divorce him and find someone else. Plus, I would have to get a job and support myself and I don’t see that happening. I scream at him a lot and nag at him to keep the fire going. Occasionally, he does something wonderful that makes me remember why I married him, but mostly it’s a lot of screaming and nagging. It seems to work for us.

Why should straight people have all the fun? Why shouldn’t gay people get to share the misery along with us? I say share it equally and let’s all be miserable together. My uncle has been with his partner for over 25 years which is a waaaaayyyyy better track record than most people can claim. I think they should have the same legal rights as the straight couple that only stays together for 25 days. Or, if you’re Britney Spears, 25 hours.

In fact, gay marriage may be just the thing to get the country out of its current economic crisis. By legalizing gay marriage, the number of weddings one is invited to is bound to increase. More weddings means spending money. No one would be caught dead at a gay wedding wearing an old outfit, so new clothing will have to be purchased. A gift will have to be bought. Parties will be hosted to honor the happy couple. Everybody wins!! Retailers are selling, people are eating and drinking in their new clothing, and gay people have equal rights. What’s not to love about this scenario???

So for God’s sake, legalize gay marriage already!! It’s hardly the most serious or distressing issue facing our country today. Besides, think of the cake they’ll be serving at those weddings!! I love wedding cake!! And maybe there will be a chocolate fountain too! Anyone getting married soon?