Mar 22
The Federal Government is run by Pinheads
Posted by Jennifer at 6:47 am in Uncategorized

I got a letter from the IRS in the mail today. I opened it immediately because a letter from the IRS is never good. It usually means they’ve discovered your offshore bank accounts and want to have a chat with you.

I was relieved to discover it was no such thing. At the top, in large red letters, it said Economic Stimulus Payment Notice. It was a friendly note telling me the IRS will send me a letter if I qualify for the latest tax rebate.

Now I’m no economist.  I failed economics in high school. I never could figure out how to do those stupid Supply and Demand graphs. In my own life, I simply demand to be supplied with things and it usually works. Or I just use the Visa. So I am not claiming any superior knowledge of higher economics here.

But even I know the economic outlook in the US is less than stellar these days. Thanks to the subprime mortgage lenders, people are losing their homes left and right. We are, as a population, spending way more money than we make, most of it on crap made in China and coated in lead-based paint. The war in Iraq is going nowhere and is costing us billions of dollars per month.

If things are as bleak as I think they are, then why is the IRS wasting money to send me a letter to tell me they will send me a letter? Shouldn’t they just send one letter to tell me if, indeed, I do qualify? I probably don’t and surely the IRS knows that. So why waste the stamp?

It seems terribly inefficient to send letters to people apprising them of your intention to send them another letter at a later date. After all, the government paid someone to write the letter. Someone had to make sure the letters were addressed, stamped and mailed. All this fuss and bother to mail me a letter to tell me they will be sending me another letter smacks of bureaucracy at work!

If I was in charge, I would skip the letters completely, take the sum saved by not sending the two letters, divide it by 6 billion and send everyone THAT money. It would make as much sense for me to get a check in the mail for $.37 as it did for me to get a letter telling me the IRS will be mailing me another letter!

Here is the text from the letter: All individuals receiving payments will receive a notice and additional information shortly before the payment is made.

How much more additional information does one need? Send me a damn check; that’s all the info I need! Only in America will you receive a letter telling you you will be receiving a letter to let you know you will be receiving a check. Skip a few steps people and see how much money is saved!

And remember, this is America:  if you get that check, head to your nearest mall and SPEND IT!!  For God’s sake people, don’t HOARD it!  Go to the Gap and buy a new wardrobe!  Don’t pay bills with it because that would be UN-AMERICAN!!  SPEND, SPEND, SPEND!!!!!!

So watch your mail for you letter. I would hate for you to be completely surprised by the second letter!

The Federal Government is run by Pinheads has 8 Comments

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  1. stevo wrote:
    March 22nd, 2008 at 10:00 am

    “And remember, this is America: if you get that check, head to your nearest mall and SPEND IT!! For God’s sake people, don’t HOARD it! Go to the Gap and buy a new wardrobe! Don’t pay bills with it because that would be UN-AMERICAN!! SPEND, SPEND, SPEND!!!!!!”

    How is paying bills not spending?

    stevo

  2. Renee wrote:
    March 22nd, 2008 at 7:21 pm

    Stevo,
    Because you were going to pay those bills anyway. But it really amounts to the same thing, because the money you would have spent on the bills can now go toward the new Gap wardrobe.

    Me, I’m putting it in savings so I can feel like I’m fully responsible for America’s financial decline. Ah, power.

  3. Bill wrote:
    March 22nd, 2008 at 10:06 pm

    Jennifer,

    I have a degree in Economics. Almost got a PhD, instead went for an MBA. Despite your lack of formal training, you understand economics much better than the IRS.

    And Renee, I am a fellow communist. My check will go to buy some depressed stock instead of some crap I don’t need. I feel so sleazy.

  4. Joy T. wrote:
    March 23rd, 2008 at 10:14 am

    I’ve been reading how the US is hurting. Yet here in Alberta it’s booming like you wouldn’t believe. Only thing? None of these sorry saps who are spending like there’s no tomorrow remember when it all came crashing down here in Alberta in the 80’s. I’m old enough to remember so we’re smarter and way more prepared this time round. You only go through almost losing everything once to learn a huge lesson in life. Well I do anyway.

  5. Kiirah wrote:
    March 23rd, 2008 at 8:26 pm

    I just did my taxes for the first time. It took forever but 60 dollars is heading my way!!
    -love ya

  6. Alison wrote:
    March 23rd, 2008 at 9:28 pm

    I got one of those letters too!!! I couldn’t figure out if I qualify or not….it was very confusing…maybe the next letter will make more sense!!!

  7. Nancy S. wrote:
    March 24th, 2008 at 3:38 pm

    My poor son is basically financially independent, despite being only 19. He got a letter also, leading him to believe that he might get a check. But, I had been on the IRS website and found that he is not eligible for a rebate because he can be claimed as a dependent on my taxes. I don’t get his money, either, because he is over 17. So, no one gets his $300.

    Not only that, but in order for him to get financial aid from his college, we file the FAFSA. On the FAFSA, his own income has to count, so he gets less PELL grant (money he doesn’t have to repay) than he would if he sat on his butt and did nothing. But, if he did that, he couldn’t pay for gas and the other expenses not covered by his scholarships and loans, so he has to work. The school will not let him be declared financially independent because he’s too young. So, he gets it from every angle.

  8. Blue Momma wrote:
    March 24th, 2008 at 5:57 pm

    I got a letter from those pinheads, too. You know if they combined the money they could save from not sending the stimulus letters with the money they could save from not sending me the social security letter each year - hell, it probably won’t be around by the time I’m old enough to collect it anyway - we could maybe pay Bushie to get out of office early.!

    Now that would be a great investment! Of course then we would end up with Cheney……..so never mind.

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